Do You Know About Saying No?

 

“No” is an important word.

 

It’s okay to say “no”. For many people, “no” is a hard word to say. We’ve grown up thinking “no” is a bad thing. We’ve been conditioned not to say “no”. 

 

Think about it. When you were growing up, what did you hear the most? “No”.
Can I have this? No
Can I eat that? No
Can I burn this? NO!

 

No wasn’t a happy word. As we got older, learned to walk, learned to talk, we decided we’ll try this “no” thing out.

 

Clean your room.       No.

 

How did that work out for you? Probably not very well. So we’ve learned that nothing good ever comes from “no”. But no can be a very useful. But first we need to reprogram “no” in our brains.

 

I like to think human beings, at their very core, want to help others. We all want to say “yes” and be a resource for people. But the mentality of “I should” needs to be eliminated.

 

“I should be able to find the time…”
“I should be more helpful…”
“I should be able to do that…”

 

Mothers, I feel, get the raw end of the “should” stick. They go to work, they come home, a lot of them not only clean up after their kids, they clean up for another, bigger, kid [1] . The feel that they should be able to do all this and more. The see what other mothers are doing and feel they should be doing the same. But they don’t have all the facts. They only see “Public” moms with their “Public” faces. They have no idea what they do when they get home, away from society’s eyes and really interact with their children. It’s the grass is always greener syndrome. So they feel the pressure of “Am I a good mother?”

 

Breaking news: Most mothers do a great job at being mothers.

 

So stop trying to compete. You don’t have to do everything. Make your husband help around the house. Have him do some laundry. Maybe you want to start out with some “stunt” clothes, because he may ruin a few loads [2] But still, divvy out chores. You “Should” be able to do what you “can” do. It’s that simple.

 

So here are a few tips on saying no.

 

Think about what “yes” means. Don’t say yes to something if you can’t do it. Think about the amount of time, effort and resources “yes” will entail. If you honestly feel you can do it, you can choose to accept. Managers would much rather hear you can’t get something done, then have you say yes and when the deadline approaches find out you can’t when it’s too late. If you let that happens, you become, in their eyes, someone who is undependable and untrustworthy. The only thing in life you truly own and control is your integrity.

 

You don’t need to answer at that moment. Ask if you can think about it. This way you can take the time you need to think about what yes means. If they need an answer that second, say “no”. Just explain that your too busy at this moment and don’t want to commit to something you may not be able to do.

 

Make sure “No” means “No”. Don’t be wishy-washy. People will use that as an excuse to keep asking you until you finally commit. I call it the weasel effect. They try to weasel a “yes” out of you as long as you don’t actually say “no”

 

Of course there are times when we have to say yes. Pick and choose your nos[3]. Saying “no” too many times will cause problems. But there are times, and we’ve all had them, when “no” is the correct and perfect response.

 

If you can lose your fear of “no”, you’ll be happier and more productive.

 

Craig Price has helped thousands of people learn to find the value in their own negative thoughts and emotions. His signature keynote “Getting a Grip on Negativity” and the companion book “Half a Glass: The Realist’s Guide” gets audiences to understand how to use negativity as a tool for change and productivity.

 

If you are interested in having Craig present at your next conference, association meeting or corporate event please call 877-572-7890 or email Craig@SpeakerCraigPrice.com today to ask about pricing and availability

 

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